This Dysfunctional Family
by Known Unknowns
Summary: Series of unrelated oneshots taking place in all seasons and including all characters and genres. Strong family and friendship themes, equal amounts of humor, fluff, and angst.
1. He Has His Moments

**This Dysfunctional Family**

**An NCIS Oneshot Collection**

_A/N: I've been writing little NCIS oneshots that aren't worth posting as solo fics for several months now, and I figured I might as well post my musings in a oneshot collection that will probably never end, because I don't see myself ever running out of itty bitty ideas for this fandom. They're not my best, but they're not my worst either. I hope you guys enjoy my bits of insanity. :)_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing!_

* * *

**1. He Has His Moments**

**Timeframe:** Season Six

**Genre:** Humor

**Rating:** K+

**POV:** Ziva's

Tony sat at his desk, his eyes bulging out of his head. Ziva looked over at her partner, concerned by the mildly insane look on his face. He bared his teeth, and that combined with his eyes the size of the moon made him seem completely and utterly crazy.

"Tony?" she asked hesitantly, trying to catch the Italian's attention. Tony snapped out of his odd facial expression, turning his hazel eyes to her.

"Oh, come on, Ziva, I nearly had it perfect!" he whined. Ziva's eyes darted to the left for a moment, and she saw that McGee had been watching Tony's nonsensical antics as well.

"Had what perfect?" she inquired, looking back to Tony. He sighed before responding to her question.

"My psycho face." he elaborated as if was the most obvious thing in the entire world. When he received nothing but a blank stare, he rolled his eyes. "For that website I like, remember?" he explained further.

"Oh!" McGee exclaimed. "Good, I don't know about Ziva, but I thought you were having a seizure or something."

"I thought he had finally creaked." Ziva said with a shrug.

"Cracked, Ziva, it's cracked..." Tony corrected, apparently exasperated by her lack of understanding of English idioms.

"Whatever. Shouldn't you be working? Gibbs told you to send out a BOLO over an hour ago." she replied, already losing interest in the conversation. Tony had not lost it, mystery solved, he was just being stupid as usual.

"Which I did. No hits. And now I'm bored." Tony defended, standing up out of his chair and striding towards McGee's desk. "Not to mention..." he stopped in front of the probationary agent's desk. McGee looked hesitantly up at Tony, clearly confused by the drilling stare he was receiving for him.

"Can I help you...?" McGee asked carefully. Tony continued his relentless stare.

"You have the number one psycho face. I've been trying to beat it for months." he admitted, leaning forward so his face was in McGee's. Ziva observed from afar with a hint of amusement.

"Really?" McGee queried with a tilt of his head. "I didn't know that." Tony's nose was about three inches from McGee's now. "Tony, you're creeping me out."

"How did you do it?" Tony asked, narrowing his eyes at McGee. "I've been stuck at eleventh place for weeks. How did you pull off such a convincing psycho face, McGee?" before the other agent could respond, Ziva watched as a totally silent Gibbs briskly walked into the bullpen and slapped Tony hard on the back of the head, eliciting an "Eep!" from Tony.

"You want the best psycho face, DiNozzo, I think being yourself would probably go pretty far." he commented with a suppressed smile as he sat down at his desk.

The expression plastered on Tony's face after that would have won him first place.

* * *

_A/N: I'll post another one later tonight. Writing these little NCIS stories really help clear my writer's block, which I really need right now._


	2. Calm Before the Storm

**2. Calm Before the Storm**

**Time Frame: **Season Ten

**Genre: **Family/Angst

**Rating: **K+

**POV: **Tony's

* * *

Tony's always found it odd that it wasn't the moments of imminent danger and gunfire that made him fear for his friend's lives, but the calm moments in between. The moments when they're all sitting there peacefully in the bullpen, working on finishing up paperwork, or researching for a case, or just waiting for Gibbs to come in and give them an order.

The slow days scared him so much more than the busy ones. Like today. Tony leaned back in his chair, throwing his feet up on his desk. All he needed to do today is finish up a case report on their latest assignment. Gibbs was at his desk, sipping at his coffee, eyes straining to read whatever happened to be on the screen of his computer. McGee was doing various McGeek like activities at his own computer, and Ziva was paging through some Israeli magazine.

The office was at peace. It's those moments that scare him the most. He felt in his deepest recesses the constant, thrumming fear that one of them will die. That they can't all continue to live, that for their lives to be free of grief and loss for even a little bit is a sheer impossibility. It is always darkest before the dawn, and in turn it is brightest just as the sun begins to fall.

_It can't be like this for long_, he thought. Something terrible is bound to happen, and soon. The longer they go without someone dying or getting injured, the more likely he believed it was that tragedy will strike again.

Occasionally, he wondered if maybe they're just cursed. Cursed to go on like this, losing one person at a time until all of them are dead. All of them have nearly died at one point or another, some of them actually have. Kate. Jenny. Paula. Lee. Franks. Their names still cause a pang in his heart, though he doesn't let it show.

They're lives were always in danger, it was part of what they did. A risk each and every one of them had to accept. In all honesty, none of them had all that much concern for their own safety anymore. Any sense of self preservation had been destroyed over their years in NCIS.

No, the thing that scared them all, not just Tony, was their worry for one another. He had already lost too many people in his life, nearly lost many more. Each time he saw McGee, Ziva, Gibbs, and Abby in danger, he lost a part of himself.

The anguish on Gibbs' burned face after the explosion back in 2006.

Ziva tied to a chair and the victim of torture in Somalia.

McGee impaled during the bombing of NCIS.

Abby taken hostage by McGee's psycho fan.

Ducky in the hospital after his heart attack.

Kate's hot blood splashing on him as she was shot in the forehead, watching the life fly from her beautiful brown eyes.

Jenny, dead under his own watch, his fingers searching for the pulse he knew he would never find. Ziva and him were supposed to protect her. They failed.

They got shot at and had the crap beaten out of them on a daily basis. When things were finally calm, he kept expecting explosions, death, gunshots, and just chaos in general.

He wished he could just value these moments, the ones where they were all safe and sound. He wished that instead of sitting here, seeing visions of death and destruction, he could just relax and be happy he didn't have much work to do. The calm before the storm unsettles him so much more than the storm itself.

Tony sighed, pushing himself out of his chair, leaving it spinning behind him. He made a decision that regardless of his fears, he was going to start _enjoying_ these moments in between the chaotic hell of their everyday lives. He's going to enjoy the simple moments with his team... his friends... _his family_, he corrected himself.

* * *

_A/N: And may I say, I wrote this around the second or third episode of season ten... did I call the whole 'we can't go long without people dying' thing or what? Also, please review! :)_


	3. Worth a Thousand Words

**3. Worth a Thousand Words**

**Timeframe:** Season Seven

**Genre:** Family

**Rating:** K+

**POV:** Tony's

* * *

Tony was bored. It was late afternoon, and the storm outside had rendered the day a lazy one. None of them had very much to do. McGee was staring at his computer (most likely playing a game) and Gibbs was perusing through an old file. Tony peered over the top of his computer and saw Ziva sitting cross legged next to her chair, reorganizing her desk.

Tony trotted over to Ziva, who didn't notice him at first. She was looking at what appeared to be a picture she'd found in her desk. Tony sat down on the floor next to her, crossing his legs as well.

"Watcha looking at, Zee-vah?" He asked, leaning over to look at the picture in her hands. He saw that she had a slight smile on her face.

"I do not even remember when this was taken. I don't know who took it, either." She observed, brown eyes dancing over the picture. Tony took a closer look, and saw that it was a picture of Ziva, McGee, and himself standing in front of Gibbs' desk, looking down at him, most likely listening. Ziva was in mid-punch, her fist slamming into Tony's arm. Tony's face was pained, and McGee was trying to hide a smile. The picture appeared to have been taken from a distance, like the photographer was standing by the elevator.

"Abby." They said together, eliciting a small laugh from both of them. "Judging by the baby fat on McGee, I'd say it was probably 06 or 07." He suggested, pointing at McGee's chubby face.

"Are you guys talking about me?" McGee called suspiciously from his desk.

"Just about how adorable you used to look, Probie." Tony replied, smothering a smile. McGee didn't look convinced, arching a curious eyebrow, he abandoned his computer and walked over to stand above Ziva and Tony, craning his head to look at the picture.

"Do you remember why you were punching him?" McGee asked, directing the question at Ziva. She smirked.

"Knowing Tony, there could have been any number of reasons." Tony rolled his eyes, looking mock-offended.

"Hey, look, Gibbs still had his brown Yamica." He laughed, and McGee casts a surreptitious look over at their boss, who had so far remained silent, despite the fact that they knew he could hear their conversation.

"What?" Gibbs asked, finally breaking his consistent quiet.

"Well, boss, you still had a little color up top back then, like... in the shape of a Yamica." Tony explains. He heard Gibbs scoff slightly.

"Suddenly glad I went gray." He muttered.

"Oh, Gibbs, you didn't go gray, you went _silver_!" They heard Abby's voice as she clacked into the bullpen, a smile on her face. Tony leaned around the divider between Gibbs' and Ziva's desk to grin at her.

"Hey Abs." Gibbs and Tony said together. His boss gave him a brief glance before his eyes returned to Abby. "Need something?"

"I'm bored." She pouted, pushing some stuff over and sitting on the edge of Gibbs' desk, something no one else could have gotten away with.

"There really isn't much of anything for us to do today." Ziva said with a shrug. "Abby, did you take this?" She asked, standing up and presenting the picture to the forensic scientist. Abby's face lit up after a moment, and she nodded quickly.

"Yeah! I had my phone out, and you guys just looked all team-y and stuff, so I took a picture. I printed out the copy and slipped it in your desk, I guess it must of gotten mixed in with all the other junk in there and you never found it." Abby paused, smiling brightly. "Do you guys like it?"

"I love it, Abby." Ziva said, smiling warmly.

"Ditto, I look handsome." Tony gave her a cocky smirk. "Of course, that's not all that different from usual."

"I miss that tie." McGee lamented. They all shot him questioning looks. McGee glared at Tony. "I couldn't really keep it after it got soaked in Tony's blood." Tony snorted, remembering the incident.

"Well, if you liked the tie that much, McGee, maybe you shouldn't have crashed into me so hard you nearly broke my nose." Tony snipped, motioning to his nose. McGee frowned, straightening his tie subconsciously.

Gibbs rises from his desk and leans over the divider. He stares at the picture in Ziva's hand, and his lips tug up in a ghost of a smile.

"Wait a minute, you guys do know what this means, right?" McGee asked. Four heads turned to look at him. "Ziva hasn't cleaned her desk out in almost four years."


	4. There's Always Another Monster

**4. There's Always Another Monster**

**Timeframe:** Season Eight, "Swan Song"

**Genre:** Hurt/Comfort

**Rating:** K+

**POV:** Tony's

* * *

The four of them crowded together in the small elevator, holding onto each other to gain what small comfort they could. Tony had one arm wrapped around Abby's waist, the other around Ziva's. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, trying to shove down his emotions like usual. This wasn't the typical, "DiNozzo's don't cry." routine. He needed to stay strong for his team, his family.

_My family. _Tony thought to himself. He felt like losing Franks was kind of like losing a grandfather. Seeing how much Gibbs respected Franks over the years had inspired reverence in Tony as well. Franks was Gibbs' Gibbs, if that made any sense. He is... was, the boss' boss.

Maybe Franks' relationship with the boss was what had Tony the most unsettled, aside from his loss. The fact that they all had to acknowledge what Gibbs was going through. All of them were thinking the same thing - what if it was Gibbs downstairs in the morgue, in a body bag? It gave all of them a deep understanding of what the older agent was going through.

_What would I do if I lost him? _Tony wondered as he traced small circles in the backs of his coworkers, trying to remove the shiny quality from their eyes, trying as he always did to protect them from the monsters both physical and mental, despite knowing that they were strong, that they didn't need him to play the role of big brother. However, he really couldn't help it.

It was Ziva who finally broke their four person embrace, which didn't surprise him. She dragged the back of her palm across her face, looking angry with herself for showing emotion like this. "We _will_ get him." The Israeli said resolutely. "There is no other option." Tony realized he still had an arm hooked around her, just as McGee was still holding Abby to his side. Neither women made any attempt to break away from the protective agents.

"Agreed." McGee said, nodding his head in stoic assent. Abby leaned her head into McGee's chest, and he tightened his grip on her.

"Promise me." She said suddenly, throwing one of her hands out. "All of you. Promise me _right now _that we'll get him. For Mike... for Gibbs." She swallowed and looked beseechingly at each of them. McGee was the first one to lay his hand over hers, followed quickly by Ziva, and Tony completed the pile of hands with both of his own, trying to give Abby the most reassuring smile he could.

"We will, Abs." He glanced meaningfully at both of his teammates. "We will." He repeated as the elevator doors binged open.

"Are you two getting off here?" Ziva asked. McGee shuffled his feet before responding.

"Abby and I were actually looking for you guys." He admitted, and Abby's lips twitched in a melancholy ghost of her usual vibrant smile.

"Guess we better head back up, then." Tony said, pressing the button for the squad room. As the doors slid shut, McGee glanced at Abby before nervously removing his arm. Tony mirrored him, knowing the moment of almost-there intimacy with Ziva was broken. _Some things never change. _He thought, drawing back against the wall, and back into himself.

He will catch the Port-to-Port killer. He'll catch him if it the last thing he does. Not just for personal revenge, but revenge for his boss, his mentor, the man he practically considered to be a father.

After all, Gibbs would do the same for him.


	5. Hungry, Hungry Probie

**5. Hungry, Hungry Probie**

**Time Frame:** Season Three

**Genre:** Humor

**Rating:** K

**POV:** McGee's

_A/N: Okay, I'm pretty sure it was about three in the morning when I originally wrote this, but upon reading it in a less dreary state, I still found it slightly amusing, so here it is._

* * *

McGee trotted in the direction of the interrogation rooms, intending to meet Gibbs in there to have a word or two with their newest suspect, Kyle Anderson. However, a growling in McGee's stomach warned him that he should probably eat something beforehand. Never a good idea to do an interrogation on an empty stomach.

He halted in front of the vending machines, eyes perusing the myriad of delicious treats. His eyes finally landed on a Nutter Butter, labeled B-4 on the machine's directory. He pulled out his wallet, rummaging through it for a dollar. Once located, he slipped it into the money slot and waited eagerly for his snack. Gibbs had come in demanding for them to grab their gear just as he was about to eat his breakfast, so he was currently starving.

The machine eased it forward, and just as it was about to fall to the bottom, the edge of the rack paused, refusing to move another inch, and trapping his precious Nutter Butter behind the glass and out of his reach.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." McGee muttered under his breath, narrowing his eyes at the insolent contraption. He gripped either side and shook it lightly, trying to jostle the package forward enough to send it tumbling into the bottom of the machine. However, it seemed to weigh a thousand tons, and he could barely move it. He put more of his weight behind it, throwing his shoulder into the machine in an attempt to shake it loose. No such luck.

"Damn it!" McGee cursed, eyeing the machine contemptuously. _I will get you, Nutter Butter. _

McGee continued to shake and hit the machine in an attempt to dislodge his snack, but his efforts were fruitless. After five minutes, he finally stood back, huffing and puffing from irritation. Gibbs wanted him in interrogation soon, but God, he was really freaking hungry.

He aimed a firm kick to the machine, but unfortunately it landed a bit too high, and it ended up cracking the glass on the bottom of the machine slightly.

"Oh no!" He panicked, observing the damage he had done. "Oh no oh no oh no." Before he could do anything about the destruction he had caused, he felt a sharp slap on the back of his head.

"The hell are you doing, McGee?" He asked, and McGee turned to see the steely glare of his boss.

"B-boss, I was just, you know, trying to g-get a-" He winced as another slap hit the back of his head.

"I've been waiting in interrogation for ten minutes! Go, _now_."

"But the machine-"

"_Now_, McGee!"

"Right boss, sorry boss!" McGee cast one last glance at the machine before rushing off in the direction of the interrogation room.

What McGee didn't see, however, was Gibbs smack the machine (in much the same manner he had smacked McGee) and then stoop down to collect the Nutter Butter that had fallen to the bottom.


	6. Temporary Agent

**6. Temporary Agent**

**Time Frame:** Season Four, "Escaped"

**Genre:** Angst

**Rating:** K+

**POV:** Abby's

* * *

Abby sat in her lab, twirling on her stool as she waited for her computer to shut down. The Paulsen case was solved; her work was done. She had to admit, she was kind of hurt that it turned out to be Mickey. She had actually really liked the old guy. She hated it when her first impressions of people were wrong. She would admit that she trusted people to quickly, but she just wasn't the kind of person to be immediately suspicious of people's motives.

She was interrupted from her thoughts by a familiar presence behind her. Even though he'd been gone for four months, she could still tell when Gibbs was hovering behind her in his special Gibbs-like way. It was like a sixth sense.

"Shouldn't you be back in Mexico by now, _temporary _Agent Gibbs?" She asked, looking at the image of the silver-haired agent on the screen instead of the real life version next to her. It slowly faded away as the computer finished shutting down. She bit the inside of her lip, stubbornly refusing to look at Gibbs.

"Nope." He said quietly. She tried to hold back a yell of victory, because she wasn't sure what he meant by that. Was he only staying a little longer? Did his flight get delayed? The false hope that he had given her was eating away at her, because she wasn't sure if he really was coming back.

She had missed him so much these past few months. She loved Tony like a brother, he was her best friend - but Gibbs was like a father to her. Without him, she felt like some unwanted child that had been left behind and abandoned, even though she knew that wasn't the reasoning behind Gibbs' retirement.

And now, he was back. Question: was she enough to make him stay?

"Gibbs... if you're going to go, just... just _go_." She blinked back the tears forming in her eyes. "If we drag this out, there's no way I'm ever going to be able to let you go again." She paused for a only a second.

"Abs, I -"

"No, Gibbs! Don't tell me that this isn't about me, or that I'm strong and don't need you around, or that you were only here to help Fornell and tie up loose ends, and now you're going to head back and build your friggin' teak hot tub with Franks-"

"Abby, I'm not-"

"and that's great, it really is, I'm happy for you, I'm happy you're happy, because, you know, you seem a lot better overall than when you were here, but Gibbs, you have a family here, and we miss you, we need you! Tony's fantastic, he's a great boss, but he's not you, Gibbs!" She turned her stool to look at him and threw her arms around his neck, giving him a bone crushing hug.

"Abs-"

"Gibbs, please, please don't leave." She buried her face in his shoulder, feeling his new beard rub up against her cheek. Okay. She had broken. Damn it, she couldn't let him leave again! "I'm pathetic. I'm needy. I don't give a crap. We need you. _I_ need you."

"Abby." Gibbs repeated once more. "I'm not going back to Mexico. I'm back for good." She pulled back from him, searching his bright blue eyes to see if he was telling the truth. _Of course he's telling the truth. Gibbs would never lie to me._

She hugged him even tighter, laughing, and crying a little bit, too.

"I knew it! I knew you wouldn't leave! And I didn't even have to handcuff you to me!" She was smiling ear to ear, and Gibbs rubbed her back. She pulled back, still grinning. "What convinced you to stay?" She asked. Gibbs just smiled softly.

"Someone talked some sense into me." He explained, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "See you tomorrow, Abs."

* * *

_A/N: This is kind of weird, but I cried a little writing this... no clue why._


	7. Complex

**7. Complex**

**Time Frame: Season One, "Split Decision"**

**Genre:** Angst

**Rating:** K+

**POV:** Tony's

_A/N: A warning: if you openly despise Kate or Tate you probably should skip this one. The pairing is incredibly mild and barely worth mentioning, but still, I know some people really hate the ship._

* * *

He brushed past Gibbs, practically shoving the older agent as he made his way out of the bullpen, gripping the strap of his backpack tight. He scowled as he waited for the elevator doors to open, and when they finally did, he retreated gratefully inside.

He hated that Kate thought he was that shallow, that the only thing he cared about when he looked at a woman was their bust size, or how skinny they were, how perfect their skin was. She seemed to have this one dimensional image of him. Tony: The Player.

She had worked with him for almost a year. Couldn't she see that he wasn't just a player? On the best day Kate treated him like an immature idiot, on the worst a soulless womanizer.

_Why can't she just... I don't know, like me? _He wasn't arrogant (okay, maybe he was... a little bit) but he thought he was pretty likable. But it seemed like Kate was perpetually annoyed by him. Kate wasn't the warmest person - he understood that, but she treated Gibbs, Ducky, Abby - hell, even _McGee_ fairly well.

But Kate just thought he was jerk. And it really, _really_ sucked. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Maybe he should cut down on the movie references a little. Lay off the misogynistic jokes. Stop eating like a pig in front of her.

_What's the point? I am who I am. Kate doesn't like who I am. I just have to man up and deal with that._

One problem, if he was being honest with himself... he kind of liked Kate. He obviously took Gibbs' "No dating coworkers." rule to heart, but he couldn't really stop himself from having a bit of a thing for Kate. She was smart, funny, not to mention beautiful. But it wasn't her body that started the interest, it was who she was as a person, but according to Kate, he never saw beyond the surface.

"Tony?" He blinked, realizing that the elevator had gone to the bottom floor, and then been called back to the squad room. _I must have zoned out and forgot to get out... damn you, emotions._

Kate was standing in front him, bag over her shoulder, looking at him with a raised eyebrow, as if to say, _"Have you finally lost it?"_

"Uh, sorry, guess I kind of spaced out." He apologized weakly as she stepped into the elevator next to him and hit the button for the bottom floor. _It's like my thoughts summoned her. Ugh. _

They rode in silence for a few moments before Kate spoke.

"DiNozzo," She said, seeming reticent to speak but also wanting to at the same time. "What I said earlier... I feel like our positions are reversed here, but when I tease you, I'm just kidding."

"I know." He responded automatically, though he was honestly surprised by her admission. He looked at Kate appraisingly. "What do you really think of me?" He asked suddenly, needing to really know. Kate, at the moment, seemed to have dropped her professional facade. He needed to take the advantage. _Do you think I'm an immature child, or do you actually think I'm okay?_

"Honestly?" She asked, leaning against the wall of the elevator and shooting him a curious look.

"That would be nice." Tony replied.

"Well... Tony, you're annoying, childish, make so many movie references that you make me never want to go to a theater again, and you're a sexist pig who makes rude jokes and looks at women as objects instead of people." His heart sank down to his toes at her words, but he didn't let it show. "_But_," She emphasized.

"There's a but?"

"You actually aren't that bad to be around most of the time. You have your funny moments, and you keep things... interesting. You may be a tool sometimes, but you've got a heart of gold in there somewhere." She half smiled at him as the doors opened once more. They walked side by side towards the entrance to the NCIS building.

"So." Tony said, smirking at the brunette. "I'm not all that bad." Kate rolled her eyes.

"Oh God, and the ego gets even bigger..."


	8. Almost Out of Almosts

**8. Almost Out of Almosts**

**Time Frame: **Season Five, "Chimera"

**Genre: **Friendship

**Rating: **K

**POV: **McGee's

* * *

McGee packed up the remainder of his things just as the rest of the employees at NCIS started filtering in. Jenny had given the entire team as well as Ducky the day off. Understandably, considering they hadn't gotten any sleep during their disturbing night on the _Chimera_.

He was about ready to pass out on his feet. It'd be straight to bed when he got home, that was for sure. He chanced a glance over at Tony as McGee zipped up his bag, ready to head home.

There were bags under his partner's eyes, unsurprisingly, but the hazel orbs also held a kind of haunted quality that they didn't usually have. He remembered the conversation he and Tony had the previous night, about his partner's utter confidence that this time, the third time he had nearly died, would finally be his last.

Tony had been acting paranoid... even a little scared. It had bothered him. Tony was supposed to be the brave one, the clear headed one. The sudden change of positions had been kind of unsettling.

He saw the elevator doors shut behind Ziva and Gibbs as they headed home, so Tony and himself were the only ones left in this portion of the bullpen. Tony was staring at his computer (which was off) and flexing his hands in a nervous motion.

"Tony?" McGee questioned. The senior agent didn't respond immediately. It seemed as though a full minute had passed before Tony slowly looked up at him.

"Yeah?" He asked quietly, in a very un-Tony-ish fashion.

"Um... you okay?" McGee ventured, searching Tony's eyes for some sign of what was wrong with the older man.

"I'm..." he paused, seeming to hunt for the right words before shaking his head. "I'm fine, Probie. Go home."

"Is this about what happened on the Chimera? About you thinking you were going to die?" McGee pressed, deciding that with the look on the despondent agent's face that this was a subject that needed to be pursued.

"McGee, do you know what it's like to think you're going to die?" he asked suddenly, standing up straight and looking McGee directly in the eye. "It's something that sticks with you. Something that doesn't just go away. I don't know about you, but I really, _really_ like living..." Tony trailed off, looking down at his hands.

"When I had the plague, I was positive I was going to die. There's no way I could've felt that bad and _not_ be dying..." his eyes closed. "and then one different move and I would've been the one in my car when it blew up. Not to mention all the other times I've been shot at or beaten up." he sighed, shouldering his bag and looking at McGee again. "One of these days I'm going to run out of almosts, McGee, and that bugs the crap outta me."

_Was Tony just honest with me about his feelings? _McGee thought in wonder, lightly disconcerted. _He must be really freaked out._

"We all die eventually. What matters is what we do with our lives." McGee felt odd comforting Tony, but when his friend was in such obvious distress, he couldn't just shrug awkwardly and leave him to his unpleasant thoughts. "You're an NCIS agent. You help people. Even if you die..." McGee bit his lip, not sure if he was helping of hurting the situation. He decided to just clap Tony on the shoulder. "Hey, just remember the facts. You're alive!"

Tony half-smiled at McGee's attempts, and patted him on the back as he headed towards the now returning elevator. "A for effort, Probie." as the two of them stepped into the elevator and stood by side, Tony scratched the back of his head uncomfortably before saying, "And McGee... thanks."


	9. All We Are

**9. All We Are**

**Time Frame:** Season Five, "Family"

**Genre:** Family

**Rating:** K+

**POV:** Tony's

**Disclaimer: **I don't own NCIS, and the lyrics at the end from "All We Are" belong to Matt Nathanson.

* * *

_"I'm not coming back. You need to choose."_

She wasn't coming back. He had to choose.

The woman who, against all odds, he had fallen head over heels in love with, who had left an empty chasm in his heart when she left, a feeling he hadn't experienced since Kate died, or...

Or the team that had originally been just that, a _team_, but had somewhere along the lines had become his family. In Gibbs, he had a father. Someone who would look out for him no matter what, be there for him through thick and thin, and when he just wanted to give up and curl into a ball, Gibbs would be there to help him back up and take charge, or in some cases just slap him on the head an knock some sense into him.

In McGee, he had unexpectedly found a lovable (though he would never admit it) younger brother. Someone to tease, but also someone he was incredibly protective and possessive over, and damn it all if McGee didn't make him proud. Yeah, he was a nerd, half the time he couldn't understand what the hell he was saying, but he cared about the younger agent, and he knew that McGee had his back as much as he had his.

He glanced over at Ducky, standing with the couple and checking over the baby to make sure it was alright. The Scottish gentleman had become a kind of uncle to Tony, offering a cup of tea and a long, rambling story on a bad day, an uncle that understood when 'dad' was in a bad mood and was there to explain to him that, "Jethro is sometimes not the most amicable man, but he _does_ care for you Anthony, he's simply having an off day, as we all do."

Abby, though she wasn't there at the house with them, popped into his head. She had become, for all intents and purposes, his best friend and little sister. Nothing in this world could cheer him up like her bouncing around to her music, smiling at him and smothering him with bone crushing hugs. It was her, above anyone else, who had made the Navy Yard feel like his home. Whenever he left for more than a day at a time, when he returned, Abby would tackle him and tell him how much she had missed him, sending a wash of warmth over him and letting him know that there were people out there that really did care about him.

Even Palmer, who had the social skills of a twelve year old on the best of days was endearing, a weird cousin of sorts, and despite his jabs and his tendency to call him 'Autopsy Gremlin', he appreciated the young man and considered him a friend.

And then Ziva... he considered Ziva a member of this second family, though he wasn't quite sure how to label her. Older sister maybe? All he knew was that Ziva had his back, and even her awkward and clumsy attempts at comfort, although straight forward and blunt, did make him feel slightly better about his Jeanne disaster.

So. Jeanne, or his family. He had to choose.

He was pretty sure his heart had always known before his brain finally caught up. He cast one final glance at the letter, slowly closed his eyes, then tossed it into the fire.

_I'm not coming back. You have to choose._

_I choose them._

He watched as the flames closed around the missive, and he felt his eyes grow hot for a single second before he sighed, saving the emotion he knew would eventually come for another day.

He rose from where he stood and made his way over to Gibbs, McGee, and Ziva. He put a hand on McGee's shoulder and threw an arm around Ziva, and he gave Gibbs a grin. The knowing looking in his boss' eye told him without words that he understood.

He's regretted a lot of things in his life... but he knew he would never regret this decision.

_"All we are, we are, and every day is the start of something beautiful."_


	10. Annoying? Sidekick?

**11. Annoying? Sidekick?**

**Time Frame:** Early Season Seven

**Genre:** Humor/Friendship

**Rating:** K

**POV:** Ziva's

* * *

She was incredibly happy to be home, there was no question in that. During her imprisonment in Somalia, she had missed every last one of her friends at NCIS. She was back, and she finally understood - although her biological family was in Israel, her real family was in Washington.

But, she had been gone for over four months, and she couldn't help but notice a few changes since her departure in May. There were several things - they all seemed to have bit more like and respect for Jimmy, Vance and Gibbs seemed to have developed a grudging understanding of each other, an uneasy alliance on the best of days.

She noticed that everyone caught themselves casting furtive glances at her desk when she wasn't at it, a melancholy glint in their eyes before a small smile formed on their faces, remembering that she was indeed back.

The biggest change she noticed, however, was how Tony and McGee's friendship had evolved. They had gone from adversaries, bordering on rivals at some points to... friends. Great friends, in fact. A sort of Batman and Robert, if you will. Wait, or was it Buckman and Robin? She wasn't sure, but that was beside the point.

Anyway, the two men were quite close now. They often would grab breakfast together before work, their jokes had a lighter and less antagonistic tone to them, they would have movie nights at Tony's or video game nights at McGee's, and the other day she actually had seen Tony clap McGee on the shoulder.

"Nice job, Tim!"

That was another change as well. 'Probie' wasn't nearly as prevalent in Tony's vocabulary as before, and although the McNicknames were still there she often found that Tony would refer to McGee as 'Tim' or in some cases even 'Timmy'. A few times, she had overheard Tony actually call McGee 'bro'.

Although McGee didn't seem to particularly love his new reputation as 'DiNozzo's sidekick' the young agent didn't seem to exactly hate it either. Although the two men had been like brothers for as long as she had known them, the new element to their relationship was nice to see. Unless Gibbs had specifically assigned the two of them to different tasks, they were together. They were beginning to border on being labeled inseparable.

Although it wasn't a word that was really even in her vocabulary, she would venture to call it adorable.

She decided not to bring her observations up to the boys, as she knew McGee would awkwardly shrug it off and deflect and Tony would just say, "Hey, don't look at me, not my fault McClingy likes to pal around with me." It was the classic male friendship she had observed over the years - fierce devotion and a deep love for each other that neither of them would ever admit.

She did however bring it up to Abby, and she informed her of how McGee had been there for Tony after she had been left behind in Israel, and that their friendship grew from there. The two women agreed that they were happy with the change.

She decided that the best example was when she arrived at work at noon one (she had a dentist appointment that morning) and she had walked into the bullpen to see McGee and Tony side by side. Tony had scooted over slightly so McGee could sit on the edge of his office chair, and the two men were sharing a basket of fries and staring at Tony's computer screen, watching an endearing cat video together.

She had taken a picture of them just as both of their hands reached into the fry basket, completely distracted and not even noticing her presence roughly ten feet away from them.

Perhaps she would frame it and put it in her new apartment, a picture of her 'brothers' together. Or, she could also save it for a rainy day... and blackmail purposes.

* * *

_A/N: Okay. I'm a sucker for McGee/Tony friendship bromance-y stuff. Reviews are loved. :)_


	11. Irrational Fear

**11. Irrational Fear**

**Time Frame:** Season Three

**Genre:** Humor

**Rating:** K

**POV:** Gibbs'

* * *

Sorting cold case files was not an enjoyable experience, and unfortunately Jenny had DiNozzo and David doing backup for the other teams, and McGee was down in Abby's lab assisting her with something, leaving him alone at the office with what seemed to be thousands of boxes of files. All of which needed to be looked over before being converted to digital format... by _him_.

He decided that Jenny was doing this simply to torture him. Had he done anything rude to the new director to earn this kind of punishment? He recalled bursting through her door uninvited several times, his eyes wandering a bit while she chastised him for breaking protocol or roughing up suspects, and perhaps a time or two he had questioned her authority... the words, "When did you go from an agent to a bureaucratic nightmare?" may have come up once... or twice.

Yeah. This was definitely a punishment.

He opened up one of the cardboard boxes and was surprised to find a small metal pencil case within. _The hell is this doing with cold case files? _He grabbed the small box and shook it, hearing the small clack of metal inside. Giving into his curiosity, he checked the contents of the smaller box.

"What the..." inside, there were hundreds of paperclips. Why were these stuffed in an old file box? What was so special about these paperclips?

A metaphorical lightbulb appeared over his head as he remembered overhearing a conversation between DiNozzo and David earlier that month.

_"I can kill a man eighteen ways with a paperclip."_

So DiNozzo had really taken her seriously? Not that he shouldn't of, David _was_ Mossad, but seriously? The young man appeared to have gained an irrational fear of paperclips. At that particular moment, David and DiNozzo walked through the elevator doors that had just opened, and they both greeted him as they walked into their section of the bullpen.

"Boss." DiNozzo said by way of greeting, dropping his bag on his seat.

"Gibbs." David said before glancing over at the box of paperclips. "Ah, it was you who had them? I have not been able to find a paperclip in this office in over a month!"

DiNozzo paled and averted his eyes, pretending to busy himself with something at his desk.

"Wasn't me who had 'em." Gibbs said. "Found them with some of the cold case files."

"Why would they be there?" David asked, still seeming confused.

"Think you should ask DiNozzo that." Gibbs commented, getting back to organizing the files and trying to hide a smile, but he couldn't help his lips from quirking up in a small smirk.

"DiNozzo...?" David trailed of before connecting one and two. She let out a laugh and looked at David. "You thought I actually _meant_ that threat? So you hid them?"

"I... well..." DiNozzo seemed to be channeling McGee at the moment as he stammered to offer an answer.

"Oh, admit it, Tony." David prompted, sashaying toward his desk and leaning forward. "You are intimidated by me."

"Don't be silly. No one intimidates me." DiNozzo insisted, trying to recover some of his usual confidence.

"Except twenty something girls with paper clips." Gibbs said quietly, almost too quietly to hear, though the reddening of Tony's cheeks would indicated that he had been heard crystal clear.

* * *

_A/N: This is probably the silliest idea I've ever had... but I could imagine Tony doing it... by the way guys, thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites!_


	12. The Closest Thing

**12. The Closest Thing I Have**

**Time Frame:** Season Seven, "Reunion"

**Genre:** Family

**Rating:** K

**POV:** Ziva's

_A/N: Sorry for not posting for so long, everyone! I kind of forgot this collection existed for awhile... anywho, here's a nice does of Ziva/Gibbs father/daughter as an apology._

* * *

"-and now, the closest thing I have to a father is accusing me..." Ziva trailed off. There was so much he was accusing her of. She had never seen that look in Gibbs' eyes before... that look of betrayal. He truly believed that Ziva had planned from the get-go to murder her own brother for the express purpose of manipulating him into trusting her.

How could he think that? After everything they had been through together? At first, Gibbs had been nothing to her. She was at NCIS because of her father's orders. But slowly, Gibbs had shown her what a real father was supposed to be like. She had been shown a kind of pure, albeit low-key and subtle kind of love and protection from Gibbs that she had never experienced before.

She couldn't exactly pinpoint when her loyalties had gone from Mossad to NCIS, but she had reached a certain point a few months after Gibbs had returned from Mexico where she realized that if someone offered her the chance to be an NCIS agent, she would gladly take it. She had a true family here. Tali, Ari, and her mother were long gone, and Eli seemed to have little use for her except as a weapon of destruction.

Maybe that's why she had truly come to love and respect Gibbs and the others at NCIS... they had looked at her as an actual person, a friend, not just a weapon. Not a tool to be used only for progression of their cause.

They cared for her, and she had been foolish to leave the only kind of affection she had been met with since her brother's death. But she was wary of trusting them. She had been closer to Ari than anyone else in her life, had gone to him when she couldn't handle things by herself, and she would be met with a warm embrace and a kiss to her forehead. He would comfort her, and do whatever he could to help her.

Ari had always been there for her. And she had shot him through the skull.

She had never seen the monster within him, and she hated herself for that. How could she have never known - to have lived and died with someone for so many years, her entire life, and never once realize that her own flesh and blood was a malicious and violent psychopath with the intention to betray their family.

She didn't believe it when her father told her, but she had taken the mission. She could not let some mindless Mossad drone go after her brother. Hopefully, if she went to America, she could save her brother and prove his innocence. She was wholeheartedly convinced that Ari had not murdered Caitlin Todd.

But she was wrong, she had been presented with irrefutable proof of Ari's betrayal at the top of the very staircase she could see out of the corner of her eye now. She had been faced with a choice, her family, her brother - the one person she had relied on her entire life, or Leroy Jethro Gibbs, a stranger to her, but a man who had given her the kind of first impression she had never experienced before.

The inexplicable and absolute guarantee that the grizzled and gruff NCIS agent was a _good _man. And oh, she had wanted to trust him from the get go, and when it came to the Ari situation, she did. But trusting all of them to the full extent had been a long, long time in coming.

A part of her was terrified that if she took another step closer to Tony, McGee, or Gibbs, revealed any private part of her heart to them, she would be wrong yet again and find a monster behind their kind eyes. She was afraid to trust them. However, with Gibbs, a bond between them had developed quickly. He had such implicit trust in her, and no matter how many times she searched those blue eyes, she never found any sign of malcontent or duplicity.

By the time the explosion happened, wiping out Gibbs' memory, she trusted him with her life.

She developed a firm trust in McGee before she had one in Tony, and when Tony had shot Michael to death, she thought it was Ari all over again, losing any faith she had in the man. The childish but endearing man that had thawed her heart, made her laugh with his stupid jokes, and who's hazel eyes never failed to capture her attention seemed like his boss, a solidly good person.

Then he had killed the man she loved, and she thought that she had been fooled by another monster. And Tony showed no remorse for Michael's death - nothing. She had nearly shot him in Israel, when she had flung him to the ground and put her SIG to his chest. She had really, truly considered it.

But something had stopped her. She had blamed herself. _This is your fault. For trusting someone again. _At this point, she was sure she was alone. The only one left who hadn't betrayed her was Gibbs, and she expected that would be soon in coming.

But she had certainly been given a long time to think about things in Somalia, and she had realized that it was she who had mistrusted Tony when he had truly just been fighting for his life. She had abandoned the closest thing she had to family.

But she was grateful that Gibbs had loved her enough to leave her in Israel, if that made any sense. These past few months had been torture, awful... she had nearly been broken.

But it put things in perspective. She needed NCIS. She needed her friends.

She needed _Gibbs_. She waited for some kind of response from her mentor, his icy gaze boring into her. After all these years, she still couldn't find an ounce of bad in the man, an ounce of selfishness or dishonesty.

"Okay." he replied quietly, eyes searching hers, possibly looking for the same thing. She wondered what Gibbs might have seen in her eyes over the years. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and quite frankly, that bothered her. She didn't want people to see what she was feeling.

Because for her, life was an endless battle of keeping the evil inside of her at bay. She didn't want anyone to see the hate, the anger, the violence, the lies that had once been her life.

But somehow, the man in front of her, the most perceptive person she had ever encountered, had read all of this in her eyes at one point or another, and even when he had been given every reason to hate her, to not trust her, to turn her away, he had made her a member of his family and become like a father to her.

And now, even after he had uncovered her true mission in the United States, he still believed her. She had explained to him what had truly happened, and he believed her. He still trusted her.

Looking back, she decided that was the day the final wall between her and Gibbs went down. The day she finally discovered that Leroy Jethro Gibbs was never going to transform into a monster before her eyes.

She had felt no love since she had watched Gibbs back disappear into the plane in Tel Aviv. Now, she needed it more than ever.

"Thank you." She said, for so many things. _Thank you for leaving me in Tel Aviv. Thank you for showing me that I could trust you. Thank you for taking me in in the first place and treating me as one of your own. Thank you for always coming to my rescue. Thank you for being here, for believing me when I need you to the most._

She wanted to say more, but a second later all she could see was the fabric of Gibbs' shirt as his warm arms encircled her, his face in the crook of her neck as he squeezed her lightly. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and for the first time since being rescued from Somalia, she cried.

She cried for all the regrets, for all the pain, for everything that had been too much that she had been forced to shove down because when she was with Mossad, she was alone. They weren't just tears of sadness, but of joy as well - because of despite all that had happened, her real family had come for her, traversing the world and refusing to believe that she was dead, determined to save her or at least get revenge for her.

A big part of it was her crying because she was so relieved to finally be home again after so long. "I missed you, Ziva. We all did." Gibbs whispered in her ear. She buried her face in his chest as her heart that had felt cold for so long finally became warm.

"I missed you as well. All of you." she replied, her words hard to comprehend through the sobs that she couldn't really stop from coming.

"Welcome, home Ziva." Gibbs said, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. She let out one last sob as a smile formed on her lips.


	13. Merry Little Christmas

**13. Merry Little Christmas**

**Time Frame:** Season Ten, "You Better Watch Out"

**Genre:** Family/Friendship

**Rating**: K

**POV:** Tony's

**Warnings: **Subtle references to Tate, Tiva, Kibbs.

* * *

Tony watched his father sleeping on the couch, having passed out long ago from a mixture of exhaustion and perhaps just one glass too many of eggnog. After their annual screening of _It's a Wonderful Life _in MTAC, Tony and his father had retreated to Tony's apartment to watch _A Christmas Carol_, (the Patrick Stewart version) a movie they both mutually liked.

Three hours later, Tony was left in his silent apartment with his sleeping father, but he didn't really mind. In spite of his father's missteps along the way, he had really tried to improve their relationship. He had been trying to give Tony the kind of Christmas he hadn't received since his mother had passed away.

Tony looked at the picture of his mother and his young self, the Santa hat still sitting on top of it. _I miss you, Mom. Everyday._

It is true that grief lessens as the years went by, but Tony knew that no matter how hard his father tried on Christmas, how hard the team and Abby tried... Christmas would always hold a hint of melancholy for him.

He didn't really know where he was going to sleep tonight. Tony didn't really have the heart to move his snoozing father off of the couch, and Tony sure as hell wasn't going to be sleeping in his own bed anytime soon... or ever again. He knew it was immature, but the idea of going nap-nap in a bed his father had gotten funky in just made him want to throw up.

So, where to sleep? The chair seemed like an option, though an incredibly uncomfortable one. Then, an idea occurred to him. _Gibbs' door is always open... I could just head there and keep the old man company, catch a nap, then come back when Dad wakes up._

However, it was almost two thirty in the morning, and he didn't want to wake Gibbs. Most of the time his boss was up late at night, but if he actually was managing to get some sleep, he didn't want to piss the already grumpy man off by disturbing his beauty sleep.

_He used to have a daughter and a wife to celebrate Christmas with. In a different life, he'd be busy wrapping presents and putting them under the tree for Kelly. Now... well, now he's probably knocked back half a bottle of scotch and is working on those toys for the kids._

Maybe calling Gibbs wasn't such a bad idea. Tony went to tip toe out of his living room, but he halted to feed Kate, who hadn't had a snack since this morning. He smiled at the little gold fish, which swam happily in it's bowl. _Wait, how does a fish swim happily? _He brushed off the question and picked up his pet's fish food, and sprinkled some into the bowl. Kate quickly darted to the surface off the water and gobbled up the food.

"There you go, Kate. You keep packing on the pounds and we're going to have to get you on Fishy Weight Watchers." He joked, understanding that the fish obviously didn't understand a word he was saying.

His father was the only person who knew that he even had a fish, or that her name was Kate. Mainly because he wasn't even sure if his father knew who her namesake was.

It's not like he was ashamed that he missed still Kate and didn't want anyone to know, but...

Well, he never brought up Kate with Ziva for obvious reasons. With his... _feelings _towards Kate, and then his... _feelings_ towards Ziva, it would just be too weird. And maybe a part of him thought that Kate was an almost sacred topic.

Maybe a part of him was still pretending that Kate wasn't dead.

He didn't bring it up with McGee because he just didn't get all touchy-feely with the younger agent. Abby was a no go, she still got tears in her eyes when she thought of Kate.

Gibbs? If he had to, gun to his head, he'd talk to his boss. However, Tony never quite figured out Gibbs' own feelings towards Kate. She was a favorite, that went without saying, but sometimes Tony noticed a look Gibbs would give Kate, a smile, how sometimes Tony would catch the silver-haired agent watching her for a few minutes while they worked.

Maybe he wasn't the only one with feelings towards Kate.

He sighed, heading into his kitchen. It didn't matter now. Kate was gone - had been for eight years. No matter how much he wanted to changed that, he couldn't. He halted just as he passed the threshold. He looked back at his goldfish. _I wish I had a picture of her. _

"I miss you, Katie." He smiled softly to himself. "You always hated when I called you that." God, the eggnog was really getting to him. He then turned and made his way towards his phone and keys, which he had left on the kitchen counter. A plate that held the remainders of his father's snicker doodles sat there, and he grabbed one of the smaller ones and shoved it into his mouth. They weren't quite like Mom's, but they were still pretty damn tasty.

He hit the speed dial on his phone and waited for his boss to pick up.

"Gibbs." a tired voice came on the other end.

"Hey, boss." Tony greeted, his mouth still full of cookie. "Iwuswondernwedder-"

"Chew, then speak." Gibbs ordered. Tony took a moment to finish his snack and swallow.

"Alright, I'm good. So boss, I was wondering - Senior's passed out on the couch, my bed... well, I can't sleep in my bed. Ever again. So-"

"I'm down in the basement. Door's unlocked." Gibbs said before promptly hanging up. Tony smiled at the phone that was now beeping. _Over the hills and through the woods to Gibbs' house we go._

Twenty minutes later, Tony trotted down the stairs to Gibbs' basement, smelling the distinct scent of saw dust, bourbon, and coffee, basically the scent that he directly identified with the older agent. He leaned over the railing, watching his boss work on the wooden toys he made each Christmas.

"You should grow a beard, boss. You'd be an awesome Santa." Tony commented, drawing Gibbs' attention.

"That a fact, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, sounding tired, though Tony thought he could detect a smile in his voice. Tony walked up to stand behind him, peering over his shoulder at the small wooden train that he was making.

"You going to stand there and stare, or are you going to help me?" Gibbs asked, raising an eyebrow at Tony. In response, Tony just smiled before grabbing one of the toys and setting to work.


	14. The Manliest of Hugs

**14. The Manliest of Hugs**

**Time Frame:** Season Five, "Requiem"

**Genre:** Friendship

**Rating:** K

**POV:** Gibbs'

* * *

Gibbs sat in the ambulance, oxygen mask pressed to his face, skin chilled to the point that he had forgotten what warmth felt like. His damp hair was plastered to his face, and his soaked clothes clung to him uncomfortably. He had gone through a lot in his life, but drowning was not something he'd had the pleasure of experiencing until today. He wasn't jumping for a repeat performance.

Maddie was doing fine, currently heading to the hospital in a separate ambulance. Although he was fighting off hypothermia and recovering from the after effects of his near-death experience, at the moment, he was more worried about DiNozzo.

The young man was also soaked thoroughly, his tie flung over his shoulder and his usually perfect hair sticking up in clumps of half-dry, half-wet light brown strands. He was shivering slightly as he paced in the ambulance, which Gibbs curiously wondered how he was pulling off in the moving vehicle. His hazel eyes were wide, and he'd barely said a word since getting Maddie and Gibbs into their respective ambulances. When they had gone to shut the doors, DiNozzo had vehemently insisted that he would ride with Gibbs.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs growled, getting sick of the other man's perpetual motion. "Will you quit that? You're making me seasick."

DiNozzo halted in the middle of his route, gaze rooted to the floor. He stood completely still for a long moment as the ambulance trundled through downtown DC, his legs shaking as he struggled to maintain balance. Gibbs took another drag of his oxygen mask, expecting DiNozzo to say something. He had the _look_ on his face - the look that told Gibbs that his senior field agent wanted to say something pretty damn badly, but he didn't know how.

"Boss," DiNozzo said, lifting his head and meeting Gibbs' eyes. "I'm... really glad you're not dead," he said, and Gibbs was surprised by the amount of raw emotion he saw there. DiNozzo gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I really thought you were a goner there for a second."

"Takes a lot more than water to kill me," he commented, though his heart warmed ever so slightly. DiNozzo had been more scared for him than he originally thought.

"Yeah," DiNozzo let out a short laugh. "Mother Earth doesn't stand a chance against Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

A moment of silence passed between them, and one of the EMT's shouted back to them that they were five minutes out from Bethesda. DiNozzo leaned against the wall, fidgeting nervously. "Boss?" DiNozzo asked tentatively. Gibbs merely arched an eyebrow at him in response. "I'm going to hug you, okay? I just... I need to hug you. Everyone needs a hug sometimes, you know?"

DiNozzo moved forward slowly, possibly waiting for Gibbs to stop him. He had to suppress a laugh at the man silently asking for permission to hug him. Gibbs stood up, and a moment later, DiNozzo wrapped his arms around him, practically squeezing him in an Abby-ish fashion. That's when it hit him how completely and utterly terrified the younger agent had been at the prospect of his death.

He smiled slowly, returning the hug and scruffing DiNozzo's hair. "I owe you one, DiNozzo. You saved my life."

DiNozzo didn't reply, and the two of them stood there for what might have been a full minute before the ambulance came to a stop. They must have arrived at Bethesda. DiNozzo withdrew from the hug, smirking at Gibbs.

"I think that was the manliest hug I've ever had, boss."

* * *

_A/N: Review? :)_


	15. Not the Way You Like

**15. Not the Way You Like**

**Time Frame:** Season Two, "The Bone Yard"

**Genre:** Friendship/Humor

**Rating:** K+

**POV:** Gibbs'

_A/N: Because I had to write Gibbs convincing Fornell to hang himself. XD_

* * *

"I'm not getting out of this, am I?" Fornell asked, looking at Gibbs for confirmation.

"Ah, you'll get out of it," Gibbs replied, lifting his coffee cup to his lips. "It just may not be the way you like." He took a deep sip, and Fornell raised an eyebrow at him.

"When you get that look, I get worried. Very worried," Fornell commented. Gibbs smirked at him in response. Fornell sighed, standing up from his cot and straightening his bright orange prison jumpsuit. Gibbs had to admit, the color definitely didn't work on him. "I take it you have a plan?" he asked, taking another draught of the coffee that Gibbs had brought him and wincing at the bitter taste.

"Oh yeah," he said, still smirking. Fornell leveled a withering glare at him.

"Can you quit pussy footing around and just tell me what the hell's going on?" the FBI agent snapped, thoroughly disgruntled. Gibbs lifted his elbows from the bars of the cell, taking a step back. Just out of strangling reach.

"Not a fan of the coffee, huh?" he asked, and Fornell furrowed his brow in confusion.

"What's that go to do with anything?"

"Shouldn't matter that you didn't drink it all, I guess. You've taken two or three sips, right? Should be enough," he said, with a shrug of his shoulders.

"What the-" Fornell looked down at the coffee before realization dawned on his features. "Goddamnit, Gibbs! You dosed me!"

"Yup," Gibbs replied cheerfully. "Should set in within the next ten minutes or so. You better get yourself ready." He eyed the cot pressed into the corner of Fornell's cell. "You think you could make a rope out of those sheets?"

"What in the name of all that's holy did you put in my drink?"

"Just something to calm you down, Tobias. Hell, it'll be like you're not even alive." At this, Fornell's eyes widened, and he sniffed the coffee. Gibbs hazarded a guess that he was expecting to smell almond. "It won't kill you. Not for long, anyway."

"GIBBS-"

"It'll make you _appear_ dead. You need to make it look like you've hung yourself," Gibbs explained, interrupting the oncoming temper tantrum from the FBI agent. "Only one way out."

"In a body bag!?"

"Just relax," Gibbs said, repressing an eye roll. "Not like you haven't tied your own rope before."

"Oh, ha-ha," Fornell responded, voice thick with sarcasm. "You're asking me to hang myself, you realize that, right?"

"I could help, if you want," he offered, an affable smile on his face.

"This is a dream come true for you, isn't it? You talking me into hanging myself?" Fornell asked.

"Words hurt, Tobias."

"Exactly how much are you enjoying this?"

"Oh, only just a lot."

Fornell let out a heavy sigh before standing up and peeling the sheets off of his cot. "My career's really taken a turn for the worst," he muttered with a forlorn shake of his head.


End file.
